Ariana Grande

 How do we have come to find the thing called self-love ?

Self love is really a concept that we all can define but somehow unlike other concepts that we adapt to naturally, this self-love can only be found when the realizsation comes knocking at the door of our own mind and the one standing in the other side is amusingly ‘us’ . After running towards everything and anything, this love which was meant to be learned first, is really the last thing that we work on or should i say how even in death it might not be found. 

When did i first thought about self-love….

I was in my 11th grade at that time when i wrote a poem for a competition which was taking place during sport week. I want to let u know that i am a really lazy person that does everything in last minute, so it was same for that poem too. At that time I didn’t think much nor was i so competitive to win, but without knowing when no one even talk about the love that we give to ourself i made a poem which title was ‘Where are you? Who are you ?’. It started with the narrative where the person say he went through the highest peak, even in the deepest oceans but he didn’t find it there. He even looked through the endless sky so did he walked along the rainbow in search of it and only  thing was about the question in each segment was where are you ?, where are you ?  in the end, who are you ?, even in fear did he dive into the darkest part , and after going everywhere and anywhere it was always there , always looking at him , who are you ?. When he stopped, a faint last line came, I am always here, always looking at you , I am in you, I am you. THE END .

And as i read my own poem in front of the stage that i wrote myself , nothing changed , there was as always people on their own mind yawning away, except my thought which  was never the same.

The steps toward the Self-love….

So after reading that you might have thought, then that is when she/he might have started loving herself /himself. Nah….like any human being i got brust of motivation  which couldn’t win against the life that bring you so many things. I never got the time to think about what my heart was craving for. I got busy and later lost in that noises and when  the silent came at the late of night, my mind choose to replay those noises again. Then year and years went by. I was drowned by the noises in my own life and the surrondings. Like that poem I was searching and looking everywhere and anywhere whereas that faint sound that was calling out to me, i never gave it a chance.

Until nothing was left….And finally i choose the peace as the last restore since then there are still all the noises but now even in my noises i find the peace. Thus i think is the first step for everyone, you need to choose, choose yourself and love yourself even when u don’t know how to.

So how do you love yourself anyway ???

I don`t know the right answer or there will never be one answer to this. Doing this and that, i do have come to understand the now `ME , I` . I love myself as i love the stars in  the sky, kinda romantic right, why not since i do see myself as a romantic person .  

    • Romanticize it : First step i did was to romanticize life since i  have always loved nature, music and dance it came easily to me. So for you maybe you can start by taking slow stroll around the city u live by urself alone and instead of looking down at path just look up, all those things that comes along the way, observe them and if u can enjoy their company, breathe as you look what surrounds your world.

    • Mirror : This one is so important because it will really tell if you love yourself or just lying that you do. Mirror, we all rather prefer to not see ourself but mirror is everyones vulnerable point. When we look at ourself we love to focus in whatever is wrong and  no one loves what they see in that mirror. So, when u look at yourself instead of being harsh on what you don’t have or not being able to look at your own image for long, just be brave and say that ,  ‘ i look so beautiful and lovable, every part of me there is what makes me beautiful.’ things like that because they are true, every part and shape they form  is what makes you and are known as by others. Really people find you beautiful, it is just you, who is not willing to see that part of you.

    • Be kind to others but kinder to yourself : We know that somehow until you realise it, our live seems to revolve around others and it is not the bad thing. But what is bad is that while putting every part of yourself for others you forgot that you too need attention and care from yourself  the way you give it to others.

    • Feel  your emotion : I know, I know, our whole day goes as we go through emotions but we never sit ourselves down and ask how and why we are feeling what we are feeling and what gave rise to such emotions. Instead of letting it happens like always this time let’s try to understand it. To do that you need to let yourself feel everything, bad or good they come from you and there must be a valide reason for that. So first let yourself feel whatever you are feeling without hiding them or bottling up, and when you are done and neutral  with  it then learn and validate  your emotions.

   • Acceptance: Accept your truth instead of running aways from it. Accept it as it is, be it more than or less than anything just be capable enough to understand and take whatever truth you have it in the present and past. Because the moment you learn to accept it , that will make it all others things easier even the process of accepting the fact that you need love from yourself too otherwise love from is something we have always chased after. But when you do love yourself 

And that is not yet done. Those are some few steps that i have listed and how i walk toward myself that loves everything including me too. These steps are needed but that doesn’t mean it might help you in a way it did to me but I do believe that you will find your own ways, just you have to feel it from  the bottom  of you heart, « I do love myself so why can i do to show that love to myself. » 

So after these steps…….

Now after these steps... i am in love with myself, right ? 

NO, you won’t. Even after doing different steps and finding method that suit you yourself, it is gonna take you years and years like how it took you years to just realiaze that you need to love yourself. You are going to feel so cringe at first and also embrassed in the eyes of others. You are going to be on and off in this process. When you feel like yes its been months and i love myself but everything that make you not love yourself is gonna come crashing at you and you have to start from first again, again and again. Others value will be more heavy then your own. Sometimes you are just gonna be blank. 

But I promise you that you will never regert this one decision in your life. Loving yourself  is going to happen slowly that it feels like a torture but when we finally get it, that will be friutful. We are going to learn more and more. You might not feel it but life is really long and in the end that self-love will come to find us eventually so why not we hold it before. We all are curiou beings and will always be but let’s be curious about ourself too. I know you can do it like any of us did.